It Seems Like Forever
by Youko-sama
Summary: Trapped within the mind of Shuuichi Minamino, Youko Kurama feels like he's failed to effectively console his human counterpart. Oneshot story Youko reveals what his true feelings. Contains shounenai, fluff pairings, Youko Kurama x Shuuichi Minamino.


Title: "It Seems Like Forever"

Author: Youko-sama

Rating: PG -- contains shounen-ai elements and fluff

Category: angst

Notes: Pairings--Youko Kurama x Shuuichi Minamino; light shounen-ai; italics in the story mean that the text is from Youko Kurama's point of view, unless noted otherwise (but I doubt it'll change...); **any contact that Youko's spirit makes with Shuuichi, Shuuichi can tangibly feel/sense in real life (does that make sense?)**...not like that, you fangirls. Nothing like that in this story. Maybe another time (lol). I'm just trying out a story based on my favorite pairing, just because it's really rare. So if I feel I'm decent at the pairing, I'll move on with different stories...does that make sense either? Oh, and remember, whenever "Kurama" is mentioned, it's his demon form, all right? Hope I don't permanently confuse readers... .;

BTW, I write really long disclaimers, but they're entertaining. I make reading disclaimers fun!

Disclaimer--

Kuroi: (sigh) Is this really necessary?

Yes. Now just read it.

Kuroi: Why can't you get Shiro to read it?

Because he's still out of it from the last story.

Kuroi: Still? You really pummeled him last time didn't you?

.. I guess...wait, you're stalling! Just read the disclaimer!

Kuroi: (sigh; shifts weight) "Youko-sama does not own any rights to Yu Yu Hakusho and all related characters. It would be useless to take her to court, because you'll have no case..." Can you really say that? Would they seriously have no case?  
Hey, I--or at least someone--read the disclaimer. I'm not claiming them as my own. Don't you watch Court TV?

Kuroi: ...No. And you don't either.

.. That's true...anyway, the disclaimer is saying that I fully acknowledge the rights of Yu Yu Hakusho--and all related characters, etc--to Yoshihiro Togashi.

Kuroi: (impressed) How did you remember his name?

I, uh, I have skills like that.

Youko Kurama (for later reference, just Youko--not the author ): (snorts) Yeah, right. I saw you sneaking a peak in that Shounen Jump of yours.

Kuroi: Isn't it "shonen"? No "u"?

Youko: (shakes head) No, I'm right. They just spelled it wrong. Worried about Americans stumbling over the pronunciation and such. And they're too lazy to add that little line above the "o"...

Kuroi: (checks Japanese dictionary) Guess it's true. There is no such word as "shonen". Hehe, wouldn't that be something if it meant something bad?  
Youko: (snickers) Yeah. I'm almost feeling regret that it didn't. (motions to Shuuichi) Hey, you, come here. Join the fun.

Shuuichi: I see no fun here.

...We're straying from the subject...

Youko: (cocks head) Of what? Shounen vs. Shonen?

No, moron, the story. Come on Shuuichi, you'll help me write it, won't you?  
Shuuichi: (shrugs shoulders) I guess. Nothing better to do.

Youko: Shuu-chan, wait!

Shuuichi: (stops dead in his tracks) What did you call me...

Youko: (grins and puts an arm around Shuuichi's shoulders) "Shuu-chan". It's my new nickname for you.

Kuroi: While I have this here...(flips through dictionary)...it says that "shuu" means "week; state/province..." and..."dried meat". In essence, I'd say he's calling you beef jerky. But, it's not used that frequently--

Shuuichi: (to Youko) I will kill you. Actually...better yet, I'll call you "You-chan".

Youko: ...

Kuroi: "You--to become intoxicated/drunk; an early death, calamity; etc..." Oo Yup. I'd say that's you.

Youko: ...You're evil.

Kuroi: (points to book) That's what it says! Look if you don't believe me!!!

I think we'll skip to the story now...leave those three to bickering...

----------------

"Sleep Talk"

Note: When Kurama talks, he's in his youkai form. Shuuichi is the human version, respectively. This all takes place in Shuuichi's mind, so I hope I don't end up confusing everyone. ;;

_It's only been eighteen years, but I feel like I've known him forever._

Youko Kurama bent down towards the sleeping soul of his host body, and gently brushed away stray hairs that had fallen across redhead's face. But the hairs remained, unmoved. At the light touch, Shuuichi moaned and turned in his sleep, his feet tangling in the sheets even further..

Kurama laughed softly; Shuuichi had only made the situation worse. But then the youkai grew sorrowful. _Oh Shuuichi, why won't this touch of mine work?_ He raised his hands to eye level and looked them over. _Why can't I console you when you're upset? Why can't I wipe your tears when they flow? You can feel my efforts, can't you. Sense them at most. But it's no real relief. It pains my heart to know that I could never embrace you when you long for someone's touch. You seek refuge in your mind, to find me, to talk with me, but it's hardly the same. I keep reaching for you, hoping to maybe break out of this mental prison which has kept me within until it's my turn to switch over._

_But I hate doing so. I know the corridors of your mind better than even yourself, Shuuichi. You become lost, scared, and call out to me. You envelop yourself in the warmest memory you can find, and sleep, waiting for me to rescue you. And when I find you, that delicate soul lost within the complexity of his own mind, your relieved face is the sweetest thing to know._

_I'm happy when you're happy, Shuuichi, but when you're in pain my heart cries out. Why must it be like this? Your sadness kills me, Shuuichi; I've died more than once by your hands. But I'm not blaming you. I blame myself. I blame myself for not being there to supply your physical needs. In many ways, I've also died more than once by my own hands._

The silver-haired kitsune once again reached out and brushed away strands of hair, but to no tangible effect.

"Kurama?" a voice called out over the dark chasm.

A small smile formed on Kurama's lips: it was Shuuichi. "Over here," he called back, still focused on the sleeping form.

Shuuichi suddenly appeared, and sat down next to Kurama. "Kurama," he began, with a hint of compassion in his voice, "why are you still stroking my hair? I'm here now."

Kurama snapped back to his senses, and realized that he had indeed been playing with locks of the sleeping Shuuichi's hair. He looked up towards his companion and smiled. "So it appears." He sat down next to the young red-head, and hugged his knees to his chest. "The human sleep cycle is very strange, don't you think?" he said as he rested his chin upon his knees. He glanced over at Shuuichi, who seemed interested in his question. Kurama continued: "They fall asleep, enter different stages of deepened sleep, and finally have a dream which lasts for a few minutes."

Shuuichi leaned his head against the youkai's arm. "But it can feel like hours at the time..." He glanced up at his kitsune-counterpart.

Completely caught off-guard by his younger half's actions, Kurama caught himself blushing furiously. He quickly turned his head away.

"So what brings you here, Shuuichi?" Kurama asked, trying to change the subject.

"You mean, why did I come visit instead of having a dream?" Shuuichi asked to clarify. Kurama nodded, his face still hidden.

Shuuichi stretched out his legs and set his hands behind him, reclining. "I don't really know," he said, staring off into the distance. "I guess because I just wanted to be with you." He looked over at the youkai again, anxious to see his reaction.

"But…why?"

_Don't. Are you trying to push him even farther away?_

That wasn't the reaction that he had hoped for. Shuuichi looked down at his hands and clasped them together nervously. "I…I don't know. Are you mad I came?"

Kurama silently cursed himself. Shuuichi was falling into depression again and it was all his fault. In a last-ditch effort to take back what he said, Kurama embraced the human soul and held him close. Shuuichi was startled at the sudden embrace, but he smiled and relaxed into the youkai's hold.

Trying for friendly conversation, Kurama leaned forward, resting his cheek against the red-head's and asked: "How was your day today?" Of course, he knew exactly what had happened, but hearing Shuuichi open up to him willingly was always a thing to treasure.

"We had finals today," he said, making a grimace.

"Really now," Kurama said, smiling, playing along, "how did that go?"

Shuuichi sighed. "It went well, but that doesn't change the fact that I still hate the very idea of it." He leaned back into the youkai's embrace and looked up at his older counterpart. "You're so lucky, Kurama, that you don't have to deal with school."

_Ind__eed I am lucky_.

The silver-haired kitsune glanced down towards his companion, grinning. "I'm sure there are worse things in life."

Shuuichi smiled back, and closed his eyes, relaxing in the hold of Kurama.

_It seems like forever…_

The red-head snapped his eyes open and looked up apologetically at the youkai. "I'm sorry, Kurama, but my dream stage is ending."

Kurama's heart was filled with remorse, but he managed to keep smiling consolingly. He swept back Shuuichi's bangs with his hand and kissed his forehead. Letting the hair fall back into place, he smiled once more. "See you in a couple of hours?"

Shuuichi returned the smile. "See you in a couple of hours," he repeated reassuringly.

In an instant, Shuuichi had disappeared and Kurama's arms were left empty. He let them drop and he hung his head, hair falling forward.

_It seemed like forever…_

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Kuroi: …Much better than your last shounen-ai fic.

I would say so…

Kuroi: It was pretty funny though, when you were writing it.

Oo How so?

Kuroi: Well, almost the entire time you kept thinking: "Oh god, I hope this isn't too confusing. I need to make a note of that to readers! I hope this isn't too confusing!"

…Well it's true. Unless I turned this into a doujinshi, then it'd be kind of hard to explain.

Shiro: I think you did fine. Although it may take repeated readings to fully understand it…

Kuroi: Hey, you're back! And you can walk…

oo That was a fast recovery.

Shiro: You act surprised…you're supposed to be happy for my recovery!

I am?

Kuroi: She is?

Shiro: …You're harsh.

I'm kidding, god…can't take a joke or anything. But you were supposed to do the disclaimer…

Kuroi: Yeah, thanks a lot, Mr. I'm-so-mutilated-that-I-can't-even-read-a-disclaimer.

Shiro: And who's fault is that?! (points to author) It's hers!

Kuroi: Actually, I like this fic. It reminds me of our dilemma.

Yeah…that's kind of why I wanted to write it. You two really helped out.

Shiro: (blushes) Enough with our personal lives! Just say "RR" already!

… ;; Even though he already did…(sigh) "RR please, thank you!"


End file.
